Cringe story

• Hey, hey Sarah!
• Hm?
• Have you heard? We’ll be getting a transfer student today!
  Said Taylor, my best friend.
• A transfer student?
• Yeah! Aren’t you excited! I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl…
• I have no idea.
• If it’s a boy I might fall for him, don’t you think?
• Honestly, you fall for every boy you see.
• Hey, you don’t have to call me out like that haha!

Taylor is boy crazy. One time she fell in love with her dentist. I don’t know what goes around in her head but it’s hilarious.

• Good morning class.
  The teacher said walking into the classroom.
• Today we’ll be having a new student joining our class. Please be friendly to him.
• Him?? So it’s a boy! See, I told you!
  Taylor said.
• You can come in now.

A frail looking boy walked into our classroom and stood in front of the class.

• Please introduce yourself!
  The teacher said.
• Hello, my name is Matsuda. I am from Japan. Nice to meet you

After he introduced himself he bowed down. I read somewhere that it was like a greeting or something. He had this sort of accent. It was kinda cute, not gonna lie.
– Now everyone, since Matsuda here is from Japan, he doesn’t speak English that well. We’d appreciate if you would help him out throughout the year.

Why’d this dude come to England if he can’t speak English..? What we’re his parents thinking? I looked over to Taylor and she was strangely quiet.
– What’s the matter Taylor? Not your type?
– Not at all!! I wanted a cute German boy, not this Chinese rip off!
– Shut up, don’t say it like that.
– Tch.

Taylor gets mean sometimes. I guess that’s how she is, what can I do about it. The week went on as normal. The teachers gave Matsuda easier tasks so he can understand. Though the teachers liked him, everyone absolutely despised him. He just kept bowing and bowing and bowing to them. What the hell is he bowing to them for. I googled it when I came home and apparently it can also be meant as an apology. Why is he saying sorry to them. I’d be pissed off in his place.

Today we came to school as usual. The students would try to talk to Matsuda, but it would only end up with them teasing him and him apologizing. What can I do about this? It’s none of my business, I don’t wanna get involved.

Taylor and I were talking about what not in the meantime. Spilling tea, gossiping, making plans for the day, venting…
– I was really hoping a cute boy would come into class.
– He’s kinda cute, go give him a chance.
– No way! I want a boy with dreamy, blue eyes, but his are always closed!
It took me a while to process what she meant.
…
– Huh?
– What?
– Taylor, it’s not his fault what he looks like.
– I didn’t SAY it was his fault.
– You MEANT it though.
…
– Oh my god, Sarah I’m so sorry.
– What.
– I didn’t realise I was getting in your way. You can have him, don’t worry. I’ll find someone else!
– What the hell, I don’t like him.
– Oh, I know. You love him.
– Where’d you get that?
– It’s written all over your face hehe..
– Whatever..

The days went on… It seems like everyone forgot about Matsuda. Nobody spoke to him, and he didn’t speak to anyone. I felt bad for the kid. I felt like I was responsible as well. Truth is, I never said a word to him. Should I approach him?

One day after school, I spoke to Taylor.
– Hey, Taylor..
– Hm?
– Do you think we should help out Matsuda, with English and all that?
– Huh?
– Y’know, help him learn?
– I don’t think you understood me the other day, but I really don’t like that kid.
– You don’t really have to like him to help him out..
– No, I really don’t like him.
– Why, what’s wrong with him?
– Everything. Bad looks, he doesn’t know how to talk and.. everything!
– That’s.. not his fault though.
– Do you really want to hang out with him?
She asked me seriously. I don’t know what to say to that.
– If you’re really gonna hang out with him, then I’m really not gonna hang out with you.
– What?
– Im going home now. Bye.

What did I do. Is she really making me choose. What do I do…

I got home and thought about our conversation all night. I still haven’t figured anything out. I decided to ask my siblings what they would do. They all had the same answer: “Taylor! She’s so cool!” They love her oh so much. I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe they chose Taylor because I left out a lot of details. Well, whatever. I’ll leave it for tommorow. Whatever I choose then is what I’ll do.

I woke up the next morning with my mind cleared. I decided I will try to get close to Matsuda. I feel bad for him. He’s a total outsider, everyone badmouths him. It’d be nice to have at least someone by his side. I’m willing to be that someone. Yes, it might cost me my best friend, but that’s okay. I came to class that day and went straight to Matsuda.

• Oh hey, is it okay if I sit here?
  He looked at me like I was some alien.
• Hello.
  He replied. Good! He understands me.
• Can I sit here?
  I pointed to the chair next to his. He looked at me like I was God knows what.
• Here. Sit here. Can I?
  I should have come prepared.
• Oh, umm just a minute.
  I got my phone out and went to trusty Google translate for help.
  -Uhh.. こち に すわって も です か? (Is it okay if I sit here?)
  Oh god, I totally butchered it.
  -こち? (Here?)
• Yes…?
  Did he understand me? I hope so.
• Yes.

He said and gave me a thumbs up. He also smiled at me, and I smiled back. Oh god, what have I gotten myself into. Well, there’s no going back now. Right away we tried to talk.

• お名前わ何ですか？(What’s your name?)
  WHAT?
• Umm.. what..?
  He pointed at himself and said his name, then pointed at me. Oh, I get it now.
• I’m Sarah!
• Sara?
• Sarah.
• Oh, Sarah.
• Yeah.
• にほんご わ はなせます か？(Do you speak Japanese?
• What?
• そうか. (Oh, I get it.)
  I want to talk to him so he’s not so alone but I don’t understand him at all. I got my phone out again and went to google translate.
• Ehh.. 友達になりたい. (I wanna be friends with you.)
  -ほんとに? (Really?)
  -Friends, yea.
  -よかったな! (I’m glad!)
  I smiled awkwardly. I have no idea what he said, but he smiled at me too, so there’s that
• えと.. sank you. (Um.. thank you.)
• … Thank you..?
• Yes, thank you.
  He did that bow thing again. Does it also mean thank you? God, this is so confusing.

I came home that day feeling pretty good. Matsuda’s a nice kid. But, I was kinda mad at myself. Why did I throw away Taylor like that. What’s wrong with me. I texted her and said that we can still hang out. No, she just said no. I don’t understand this at all.

I thought it would be nice of me to surprise Taylor by giving her some cookies at school.
– Hey Taylor, I got you some cookies. I hope we’re still cool.
– Oh, thank you.
We’re cool again!
She took the box of cookies and threw it in the trash right in front of me. Without looking at me, she walked away. I was shocked. Did she just…? Man, I was about to cry right then and there, but no can do. Calm down. Stay strong.. and smile! After a while when I calmed down, the bell rang. I went back to class and sat next to Matsuda. He saw that something was off about me and asked:

• You okay..?
• Huh? Oh it’s nothing, I’m fine!
  I smiled and gave him a thumbs up, hoping he’d understand me better that way. I was feeling really down. I can’t believe this. Taylor is not like that. She wouldn’t.. Suddenly I felt a pat on my shoulder. I turned around.
• きみは猫だ!! (You’re a cat!!)
  He showed me a drawing of me with cat ears. Did he draw this? Man, I look so cute.
• Aa it’s so cutee! Is that me? Woww thank you!!
  We were both smiling like maniacs.
  That was so nice of him. It’s little things like this that make life awesome . As time went on, Matsuda and I became better friends, but because of that the bullies started targeting me too. They said all kinds of nasty things about me. Especially Taylor. She knew everything about me, and told it to everyone. She’s not like that, so I kept thinking she’d change. She never did though.. Am I being naive? Surely. It was a relief to have at least Matsuda by my side through all of this. He taught me Japanese and I taught him English. We spoke in Japanese when we didn’t want anyone to know what we were saying.

-どうしたの? (What’s wrong?)
He asked me.
-なんでもない.. (Nothing..)
– いや、おしえて ください. (No, you can tell me.)
– なんでもないよ. (It’s nothing.)
– おしえてください.(Please tell me.)
– テイラは.. (It’s just that Taylor..)
-だめ だ もうテイラを許さないで. (No, no, you have to quit forgiving her.)
-もう やめて まつだ. (Oh, stop that Matsuda.)
-ほんと です! (It’s true!)
-そう だ 、でも.. (It is, but…)
-でも 何? (But what?)
-しらない.. (I don’t know..)

He left me alone to think things through after that. My mind was doing cartwheels. I wish Matsuda would’ve comforted me or something. “Do your best!”, “It’s ok!” Anything, anything at all, it would’ve been helpful. Taylor would have talked me out of this. She never left my side. Have I made the right decision? Dumping my best friend for some new guy? I don’t know though. No, it must be. Ever since Matsuda came it all went downhill. He made some new friends since then, so he could do without me. We’ll still be friends, but I’ll just stop hanging out with him. I guess he didn’t know if it was appropriate for him to talk to me since I told him I wanted some time to myself. What a fool, I didn’t actually mean it. And just like that my opinion on Matsuda went full 180°, what’s going on?

Some time has passed. I made friends with Taylor again, and Matsuda had befriended a few of our classmates. We didn’t talk at all during this period. It was just weird. We saw each other every day, but neither of us had the guts to approach the other. I distracted myself with Taylor and her friends. Mostly they we’re talking about boys and all that. It might not sound strange coming from me, but it was so boringggg. I wasn’t into anything they were into. They would say nasty things about others behind their backs, and I just went along with it. Yeah, I was pretty pissed off, but it’s not a big deal. Last time, this kind of thing cost me my best friend, and I ain’t losing her for the second time.

One day, I can’t remember why, but we were all in the girls bathroom. The girls were writing something on the wall. I was just watching them, I didn’t do anything to stop them, not until they started writing some stuff about the teachers.
– Hey uh, I don’t think this is a good idea.
– Lameee.
Said Taylor
– What.
– You became so lame after you started hanging out with that Chinese dude…
Just as she was saying that she crossed out Matsuda’s name on the wall.
– For real, we could get in big trouble for this..
– Have some fun will you?
She threw me a marker.
– I’m not.. gonna write on the walls…
– If you’re not gonna, you might as well leave…
– But I-
– Write, or leave.
Is she making me choose again? I looked down and went away. This was the final straw. I’m done with Taylor. I’ll stop trying to make up with her. This is my loss.. I was feeling pretty bad the rest of day. I thought it couldn’t get any worse.. Ohh boyy, was I wrong. All of the girls, including Taylor, decided to tell the teacher I wrote everything on the bathroom walls. Honestly, who wouldn’t believe them?

I got in lots of trouble. I got suspended from school for a while, my parents grounded me and I lost my dear friend Taylor. How did it come to this. For real now, I’m done with her. I blocked her and all the girls on every social media. Why though.. Was I being too desperate? It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have said anything. Why do I keep running my mouth all the time. Just shut up for once, stupid mouth. What now, what now? What have I gotten myself into. I have no one at this point, although, I’m still technically friends with Matsuda.. Forget about it, I can’t go back to him for help after how I treated him. This is so stupid..

For the few days I was suspended I was in my room all day. I closed the curtains so it was all dark. My parents took my phone so I just sat there thinking… Thinking… Thinking… Hold up, this is not me!! I got my act together and decided to apologize to Matsuda, and forget about Taylor completely. The moment I got back to school,

I froze.

I can’t do this, how can I possibly approach Matsuda after all of this. Leaving him for Taylor and then coming back to him when I’m thrown away in the dirt. This is not okay. I deserve this. Weeks went on, and I didn’t do anything. I pretended like nothing happened. I sat alone in the back seat, smiling. I don’t need pity, I’m okay. All in all, it was really awkward. A bit sad as well.
Amen.

This went on for some time until Matsuda approached me.
– Hey Sarah, are you okay?
Woah, since when could he speak so good?
– Oh, uhh yeah, I’m fine, you don’t need to worry about me!
– Say me.
Say? Does he mean “tell me?”
– It’s really nothing, don’t sweat it!
…
– Actually.. Matsuda..
– ?
– Are you mad at me?
I asked him.
– Huh?
Damnit, he didn’t understand me.
– I think you are mad at me??
He said.
– What?
– Are you mad at me?
– Noo! I was never mad at you! Where’d you get that from!?
– You kinda left me all of a sudden..
– Oh.. I’m sorry about that.
– It’s okay.

• Oh right, Matsuda, your English has gotten pretty good man, good job.
• Yes, I study with friends. Do you study Japanese still?

I forgot about that.

-Emm…名前は.. Sarah..? (Name is… Sarah?)
– Woww… (Painfully obvious sarcasm)

We burst out laughing. I’m glad we’re kinda on the same page here. I decided to stop being friends with Taylor completely. I think it’s for the best. Matsuda introduced me to all the new friends he made and I kinda fit right in. I don’t deserve this dude, he’s too kind to me… I hope we can stay pals until we’re really old. One day, we’ll laugh at this in fluent English. Or Japanese… Depends…

---

• Hej, hej Sarah!
• Hm?
• Jesi čula? Danas dobivamo novog učenika!
  Reče Taylor, moja najbolja prijateljica.
• Novi učenik?
• Da! Je l’ jedva čekaš? Pitam se je l’ muško ili žensko…
• Nemam pojma.
• Ako je muško mogu se zaljubiti, je l’ da?
• Ti se zaljubiš u svakog dečka kojeg vidiš.
• Nemoj tako haha!

Taylor je luda za dečkima. Jednom se zaljubila u svog zubara. Nemam pojma što joj se događa u toj glavi, ali je smiješno.

• Dobro jutro. – kaže učiteljica ulazeći u razred.
• Od danas pa nadalje, na nastavi će nam se pridružiti novi učenik. Molim vas budite dobri prema njemu.
• Njemu? Vidiš, dečko je! Rekla sam ti! – kaže Taylor.
• Možeš ući.

Kroz vrata je ušao nizak dječak i stao pred ploču.

• Molim te, predstavi nam se! – kaže učiteljica.
• Pozdrav, ja sam Matsuda. Ja sam iz Japana. Drago mi je.

Nakon što se predstavio naklonio se. Negdje sam pročitala da je to nekakav pozdrav. Imao je čudan naglasak, koji je nekako sladak.

• U redu djeco, pošto je Matsuda iz Japana ne zna baš engleski. Bilo bi lijepo kad bi mu svi pomogli da ga nauči.

Zašto je ovaj lik došao u Englesku kad ne zna pričati engleski? Što je mislio? Pogledala sam u Taylor koja je začuđujuće tiha.
– Što je bilo, Taylor? Nije tvoj tip?
– Nikako! Htjela sam slatkog Nijemca, a ne ovog Kineza!
– Daj šuti, nemoj tako govoriti.

Taylor je ponekad bezobrazna. Takva je kakva je, što ja tu mogu. Tjedan je prošao uobičajeno. Učitelji su davali Matsudi lakše zadatke kako bi ih razumio. Iako su ga učitelji voljeli, svi ostali su ga mrzili. Samo im se klanjao i klanjao i klanjao. Što im se klanja, koji mu je?
Potražila sam na internetu i navodno to se smatra kao isprika. Ja bi na njegovom mjestu bila ljuta.

Svaki dan u školi učenici bi pokušali pričati s Matsudom. Pošto se nisu razumjeli, svi bi ga zezali i on bi se klanjao. Da li bi mu mogla pomoći? Ne tiče me se, neću se miješati.

Dok se to događalo Taylor i ja bi pričale o svemu i svačemu. Brbljale smo, tračale, dogovarale…
– Stvarno sam se nadala da će novi učenik biti sladak.
– Sladak je, daj mu šansu.
– Nema šanse, hoću dečka s lijepim plavim očima, a ne nekoga kojemu su stalno zatvorene.
Trebalo mi je malo vremena da skužim na što je mislila
…
– Ha?
– Što?
– Nije on kriv što izgleda tako, Taylor.
– Nisam REKLA da je on kriv.
– Ali si zato MISLILA.
…
– O moj Bože, Sarah stvarno mi je žao.
– Što?
– Nisam skužila da ti smetam. Možeš ga imati, ne brini. Ja ću naći nekog drugog!
– Koji vrag, ne sviđa mi se.
– Znam, znam, voliš ga.
– Otkud ti sad to?
– Vidi ti se po licu hehe..

Izgleda kao da su svi zaboravili na Matsudu. Nitko nije pričao s njim, niti on s nikim. Bilo mi ga je žao. Nekako sam pomislila da sam i ja kriva. Da mu priđem?

Jednoga dana nakon škole pričala sam s Taylor.
– E, Taylor…
– Hm?
– Što misliš, je l’ bi trebali pomoći Matsudi s engleskim, i svim tim?
– Ha?
– Znaš, pomoći mu da nauči engleski?
– Nisi me skužila neki dan, ali ne sviđa mi se taj lik.
– Ne mora ti se sviđati da mu pomogneš..
– Stvarno mi se ne sviđa. Nimalo.
– Što mu fali?
– Sve! Ružan je, ne zna pričati… Sve!
– Nije on kriv.
– Stvarno se želiš družiti s njim?
Pitala me ozbiljno. Ne znam što reći na to.
– Ako ćeš se družiti s njim, ja se neću družiti s tobom.
– Što?
– Idem sada. Aj bok.

Što sam ja tu kriva. Je l’ stvarno želi da biram. Što ću…

Došla sam kući i razmišljala o našem razgovoru cijelu noć. Još uvijek nisam ništa skužila. Odlučila sam pitati braću i sestre što bi oni učinili. Svi su imali isti odgovor: “Taylor! Ona je tako kul!” Vole ju taako puno. Ne znam što sam očekivala, vjerojatno su ju izabrali jer sam izostavila puno detalja. Ma, kako god. Ostavit ću to za sutra. Što god odlučim tada, to ću i učiniti.

Probudila sam se ujutro i moj odgovor je odlučen. Pokušat ću se sprijateljiti s Matsudom. Žao mi ga je, totalno je sam. Svi mu se rugaju. Bilo bi lijepo da ima nekoga, ako treba, ja ću biti taj netko. Da, možda će me koštati moju najbolju prijateljicu, ali u redu je. Došla sam u školu taj dan i otišla ravno prema Matsudi.

• O hej, je l’ itko sjedi tu?
  Gledao me kao da sam s druge planete.
• Zdravo.
  Odgovorio je. Super! Razumije me!
• Mogu sjesti kraj tebe?
  Pokazala sam prstom prema klupi. Gledao me kao da sam Bog zna što.
• Tu. Sjesti. Mogu li?
  Trebala sam se pripremiti.
• Samo minut..
  Izvadila sam mobitel i otišla na Google prevoditelj.
• Emm… こち に すわって も です か?(Mogu li sjesti tu?)
  O Bože, nešto sam krivo rekla.
• こち ? (Tu?)
• Da..?
  Je l’ me razumio? Nadam se.
• Da.

Rekao mi je i nasmiješio se. Nasmiješila sam mu se natrag. O Bože, u što sam se uvukla. Prekasno je da se sad izvlačim. Odmah smo pokušavali nešto pričati.

• お名前わ何ですか？(Kako se zoveš?)
  ČEGA?
• Emm… Što..?
  Pokazao je na sebe i rekao svoje ime, i onda pokazao na mene. Sad kužim..
• Ja sam Sarah!
• Sara?
• Sarah.
• Aha, Sarah.
• Da.
  -にほんごははなせますか? (Pričaš li japanski?)
• …Što..?
  -そうか. (Aha.)
  Želim pričati s njim da ne bude sam, ali nemam pojma što govori. Opet sam izvadila mobitel i otišla na Google prevoditelj.
  -友達になりたい. (Želim da budemo prijatelji.)
• ほんとに? (Stvarno?)
• Prijatelji, da.
• よかったな! (Drago mi je!)

Nasmiješila sam se. Nemam pojma što je rekao, ali i on se nasmiješio pa je to valjda nešto dobro.
-えと.. hwara. (Em.. hvala.)
– …Hvala..?
– Da, hvala.
Opet se naklonio. Zar to znači i hvala? Isuse, ovo je zbunjujuće.

Došla sam kući osjećajući se dobro, Matsuda je dobar lik. Ali opet, ljuta sam na sebe što sam tako odbacila Taylor. Što mi je. Napisala sam joj poruku da se još uvijek možemo družiti ako želi. Ne. Napisala je samo ne. Ne razumijem.

Mislila sam da bi bilo lijepo iznenaditi Taylor s keksima.
– Hej Taylor, donijela sam ti malo keksa, nadam se da smo si još uvijek dobri.
– O, hvala ti.
Dobri smo si!
Uzela je kekse i bacila ih u smeće ispred mene. Bez da me pogledala, otišla je. Je l’ ona…? Skoro sam zaplakala, ali suzdržala sam se. Smiri se, budi jaka i… Smiješak! Kad sam se smirila taman je zvonilo za sat. Vratila sam se u učionicu i sjela kraj Matsude. Vidio je da nešto nije u redu i pitao:

• Ti okej?
• Ha? Ma ništa, dobro sam!
  Nasmiješila sam mu se. Nadam se da me tako razumije. Ne mogu vjerovati. Taylor nije takva. Ne, ona ne bi. Osjetila sam da mi je netko dirnuo rame. Okrenula sam se.
  — きみは猫だ! (Ti si maca!)
  Pokazao mi je crtež mene s mačjim ušima. Je l’ on to nacrtao? Izgledam preslatko.
• Kako slatko!!! Jesam to ja? Kako slatkoo, hvala ti!!
• Smijali smo se kao luđaci. Kako lijepo od njega. S vremenom, Matsuda i ja smo postajali sve bolji prijatelji. Zbog toga su i mene počeli zezati svi ostali. Govorili su svašta o meni, pogotovo Taylor. Znala je sve o meni, i svima je rekla. Nije ona takva, pa sam stalno mislila da će se popraviti. Ali nikad nije… Jesam li naivna? Sto posto. Bilo mi je drago da je bar Matsuda uz mene kroz sve ovo. On me učio japanski, a ja njega engleski. Kako nitko ne bi znao o čemu govorimo, pričali bismo japanski.

• -どうしたの? (Što je bilo?)
  Pitao me.
  -なんでもない.. (Ništa..)

• いや、おしえて ください. (Ne, možeš mi reći.)
• なんでもないよ. (Nije ništa.)
• おしえてください.(Reci mi.)
• テイラは.. (Taylor..)
  -だめ だ もうテイラを許さないで. (Ne, stalno joj opraštaš.)
  -もう やめて まつだ. (Daj, prestani Matsuda.)
  -ほんと です! (Istina je!)
  -そう だ 、でも.. (Da, ali…)
  -でも 何? (Što ali?)
  -しらない.. (Ne znam..)

Nakon toga me ostavio na miru da promislim. Da me bar utješio ili nešto. “Možeš ti to!”, “U redu je!” Bilo što. Taylor bi mi sigurno pomogla. Ona je uvijek uz mene. Jesam li krivo izabrala? Cura koja je ostavila najbolju prijateljicu za nekog lika? Ne znam. Ne, mora biti. Otkad je Matsuda došao sve je krenulo nizbrdo. Ima više prijatelja nego prije, pa može i bez mene. Još uvijek ćemo biti prijatelji, samo što se nećemo družiti. Valjda nije znao treba li pričati sa mnom ili ne. Koja budala, valjda se podrazumijeva. Samo tako, moje mišljenje o Matsudi je postalo suprotno. Što se događa?

Nakon nekog vremena, Taylor i ja smo opet prijateljice. Matsuda je isto našao neke svoje prijatelje. Bilo je jako čudno, jer smo se viđali svaki dan, a nismo pričali. Bilo mi je tako dosadno dok sam se družila s Taylor i njenim prijateljicama. Samo su pričale o dečkima. Voljele su pričati ljudima iza leđa. Jako sam se ljutila zbog toga, ali nema veze. Prošli put, ovo me koštalo moju najbolju prijateljicu i ne mislim je izgubiti po drugi put.

Jednog dana, ne znam zašto, svi smo bili u ženskom WC-u. Nešto su pisali po zidovima. Ja sam ih samo gledala. Pokušala sam ih zaustaviti tek kad su počele pisati nešto o učiteljima.
– Hej, mislim da to nije dobra ideja.
– Dosadnooo.
Viče Taylor.
– ?
– Postala si tako dosadna otkako si se počela družiti s onim Kinezom.
Tek kad je to rekla, prekrižila je Matsudino ime sa zida.
– Ali stvarno, bit ćemo u velikoj nevolji zbog ovoga..
– Daj se pozabavi nekad, ok?
Dobacila mi je marker.
– Neću pisati po zidovima…
– Ako nećeš, onda otiđi.
– Ali-
– Piši, ili otiđi.
Da opet biram? Nema šanse. Otišla sam nakon toga. Gotova sam s njom. Neću se više družiti s njom… Cijeli dan sam se osjećala loše, mislila sam da ne postoji ništa gore. Jaoo, što sam bila u krivu. Taylor i cure odlučile su reći učiteljici da sam ja napisala sve ono u WC-u. Iskreno, tko im ne bi povjerovao?

Bila sam u velikoj nevolji nakon toga. Izbacili su me iz škole na par dana, roditelji su me kaznili i izgubila sam svoju dragu prijateljicu Taylor. Blokirala sam ju na svim društvenim mrežama. Zašto bi mi to učinila… Jesam li bila preočajna? Ja sam kriva. Nisam trebala ništa reći. Zašto stalno brbljam kad ne treba. Zašuti jednom, glupi jeziku. Što sad, što sad? U što sam se uvukla. Više nemam nikoga. Još uvijek sam prijateljica s Matsudom, je l’ da? Zaboravi, ne možeš se njemu vraćati nakon svega što si mu učinila. Čista glupost…

Onih par dana što nisam bila u školi provela sam u svojoj sobi. Navukla sam zastore i sve je bilo mračno. Roditelji su mi uzeli mobitel pa sam samo tamo sjedila i razmišljala… Razmišljala… Razmišljala… Čekaj, pa ovo nisam ja! Što mi je? Odlučila sam se ispričati Matsudi, i totalno zaboraviti na Taylor. Čim sam se vratila u školu,

Zaledila sam se.

Ne mogu ja ovo. Kako bi mu trebala priči kad sam ga tako povrijedila. Ostavim ga zbog Taylor i onda mu se opet vraćam kad ona mene ostavi. Ovo nije u redu. Zaslužujem ovo. Tjedni su dolazili i odlazili, a ja nisam ništa radila. Pravila sam se kao da se ništa nije dogodilo. Sjedila sam sama u zadnjoj klupi. Što će mi tuđe sažaljenje, u redu sam. Sve u svemu, bilo je vrlo čudno. Čak i malo tužno.
Amen.

Ovo je trajalo neko vrijeme dok mi Matsuda nije prišao.
– Hej Sarah, jesi dobro?
Opa, otkad tako dobro priča engleski?
– O, pa da, dobro sam, ne brini se!
– Kaži mi!
Kaži? Misli na “reci mi”?
…
– Zapravo, Matsuda…
– ?
– Jesi ti ljut na mene? – pitala sam ga.
– Ha?
Nije me skužio.
– Ja mislim da si ti ljut na mene?
– Što?
– Jesi ti ljut na mene?
– Nee!! Nikad nisam bio ljut na tebe, otkud ti to!?
– Ostavio si me da sam sam…
– Aha, oprosti mi za to…
– Dobro je.

• E da, Matsuda, engleski ti je super, bravo.
• Da, učim s prijateljom. Ti učiš japanski?

Totalno sam zaboravila na to.

-Emm..名前は… Sarah..? (Ime je.. Sarah..?)
– Bravoo… (Bolno očiti sarkazam.)

Prasnuli smo u smijeh. Drago mi je da smo opet prijatelji. Odlučila sam potpuno izbaciti Taylor iz svog života. Matsuda me predstavio svojim prijateljima i već se svi slažemo. Ne zaslužujem ovog lika. Nadam se da ćemo ostati prijatelji i dok budemo jako stari. Jednog dana smijat ćemo se ovom trenutku na engleskom. Ili japanskom… Ovisi…

Ena Baličević, 7.r

OŠ Blaž Tadijanović,  Slavonski Brod